Speak like Gentleman - jokes about women

Be more sensitive to the fairer sex and be popular with them by using politically correct words. Speak only the truth to the ladies but in a gentle tone and gentler words, just like a gentleman. Here are some examples to help you out:

• Ladies are not ‘air heads’. They are ‘reality impaired’.
• Ladies are not ‘bad cooks’. They are ‘microwave compatible’.
• Ladies are not ‘bleached blondes’. They are ‘peroxide dependent’.
• Ladies are not ‘cold or frigid’. They are ‘thermally inaccessible’.
• Ladies are not ‘conceited’. They are ‘intimately aware of her best qualities’.
• Ladies are not ‘dumb’. They are a ‘detour off the information superhighway’.
• Ladies are not ‘too skinny’. They are ‘skeletally prominent’.
• Ladies do not ‘gain weight’. They are ‘metabolic underachievers’.
• Ladies do not ‘go shopping’. They are ‘mall fluent’.
• Ladies do not ‘hate televised sports’. They are ‘athletically ignorant’.
• Ladies do not ‘have a mustache’. They are ‘in touch with their masculine side’.
• Ladies do not ‘nag you’. They become ‘verbally repetitive’.
• Ladies do not ‘tease or flirt’. They engage in ‘artificial stimulation’.
• Ladies do not ‘wear too much makeup’. They have reached ‘cosmetic saturation’.
• Ladies do not ‘wear too much perfume’. They commit ‘fragrance abuse’.
• Ladies do not get ‘drunk or tipsy’. They get ‘chemically inconvenienced’.
• Ladies do not get ‘fat or chubby’. They achieve ‘maximum density’.
• Ladies do not want to be ‘married’. They want to lock you in ‘domestic incarceration’.
• Ladies do not wear ‘too much jewelry’. They are ‘metallically overburdened’.
• Ladies have not ‘been around’. They are ‘previously enjoyed companions’.

fonte: http://aprilfool.fundootimes.com/speak-like-gentleman.html